The Girls Bathroom
by Rave the Wolf
Summary: My little brother decided he wanted to write something. These are his very cracked out attempts. I think he was on a sugar high.
1. The Bathroom

A/N: Hi I'm wolf in the mist's little brother, Erick. Big shout out to her for publishing this for me, 'cuz I don't have a profile. W007! BLEACH RllL3Z!

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Ichigo wakes up in a dark room. The light clicks on and he could see he was in a woman's bathroom.

"Dude, I'm in a woman's bathroom! Oh ya!" says Ichigo. Then a TV in the corner turns on. And on the TV and it shows a guy playing with a Barbie. Ichigo looks at the TV. "HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?!" There was a flushing sound and a wet tape recorder smacks him on the head. "Aww crap, why's that thing wet?!" He turns it on and a voice (obviously Rukia's) comes on.

"This is not Rukia, just so you know. In two minutes if you can't get the key and release yourself, we will release the gayest guy in the universe in there with you. Oh and we can't forget all the Bleach fan girls we have with us today." A lot of screaming is heard in the background. Most of it was 'we wuv Ichigo!'

"NO not the fan girls! NO not the gay guy! And that guy who's playing with the doll is creeping me out!" A few seconds after his outburst Kon walks in.

"Why are you in the girl's bathroom? Don't you need to be in class?" Ichigo attempts to attack him.

"YOU DID THIS DIDN'T YOU?!"

"Why are you speaking in caps?"

"'CUZ I WANT TO!"

"O…kay… I'm out." Kon leaves and locks the door.

"GET BACK HERE YOU MOTHER FKER! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FCKING HEAD OFF!" He goes on with some more bleeped out cuss words for a long time, too long in fact to type. All of a sudden a live fish drops out of the ceiling and on to his head. It then flops into his pants and then the gay man comes in. Ichigo pulls the still live fish out of his pants and throws it at the guy. Then he dashes out the open door. After that he bumps into Totski. "DID YOU DO THIS?" He points to the bathroom where the guy is struggling with the fish.

"No, but I wish I did." Then Rukia's voice is heard.

"Barney attack!" Barney comes from nowhere and pulls Ichigo into the twilight zone.

"NO NOT AGAIN!" He screams. After that Ichigo wasn't heard from for several months. When he reappears he was alone and would sing. "I love you, you love me…" He wouldn't come out of the fetal position, so Rukia locked him in a psyco ward forever. Or until he got better.

THE END

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Erick: It was really funny. Thanks wolf!

Wolf in the mist: You're welcome! That story was so dumb it was funny!

Erick: shut up idiot!

Big dust cloud fight erupts between the two.


	2. Portals and Fangirls and Rukia on Crack

**Portals into other dimensions and Rukia on Crack.**

Rukia: I'm not on crack! I'm drunk!

Ichigo: Same difference.

Erick: Shut up you morons!

wolf: Little brother, that wasn't very nice! You abuse them in your fics so I would be nicer to them! Heh, just like I'm nice to Ed and Al.points to corner where Ed and Al from Fullmetal Alchemist are tied up and gagged

Erick: Lets get this party started!

disclaimer: Erick does not own anything fetured in these riddiculous stories... Thank god. But he does own a PS2... and a DS starts going on impossibliy long list of things he does own... He is a spoiled brat...

(insert random phrase here)

Ichigo is walking to his next class in school, when Rukia runs past him saying;

"Hallow alert! lets go!" They end up in deserted building in the middle of Washington D.C.

"How the hell did we get here?! Oh, who cares, lets kick some ass! Huh, what the fk is that!" He points to a teletubbie shaped hollow."Rukia, What is that!?"

"A hollow, I think."

"Do you know how we got here? I mean one minute were in Japan and now were all the way in North America."

"No, I do not know how we got here!"

"I think its your fault." Rukia smacks him on the back of the head.

"IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"OUCHY! You dont have to smack me, and why are you speaking in all caps?!"

"BECAUSE I WANT TO!" Rukia runs and starts beating up the teletubbie hollow off screen.

"Whoo, she is mad! Huh? More hallows incoming!" Three more teletubbie shaped hallows appeared, running towards Ichigo. One trips and falls on it's face and the other two stop to help it up. Suddenly, Barney appears out of nowhere and Ichigo screams like a five year old girl. But one of the hallows eats Barney, so Ichigo does the happy dance and the hallows join in. Then he begins to sing the 'I'm to Sexy' song thingy. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts..." Rukia turns to him.

"GOD DAMMIT ICHIGO! SHUT UP! WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!" A portal opens up above Ichigo, dumping Edward and Alphonse Elric on his head, and thus shutting him up. "THANK GOD, I THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER SHUT UP."

"WTF! We were fliming a movie!" Yelled Al, he looks at Ichigo. "Who the hell are you?! Where are we?!"

"Washington D.C." He mumbles.

"Wait you mean..." Fan girls burst through the doors. "BROTHER CODE RED!" Ed stares blankly at Al.

"What's code red?"

"wolf in the mist and her crazy friend found us again!"

"That means run, right?" In the backround you can hear wolf and her friend shouting their love of Fullmetal Alchemist to the world, and well as Edo and Aru as well...

"YES!" Ed and Al run past the fan girls into the deserted building an lock the doors. Wolf turns and sees Ichigo and screams: "Its Ichigo! GET HIM!" Wolf's clan turns their signs around and they say:

WE LOVE ICHIGO!

Ichigo screams and runs into a wall,knocking him out. He wakes up screaming:"FAN GIRLS! HELP!"He was surounded by fan girls trying to kiss him. One lands a fat juicy kiss right on his lips.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!! He runs for the building screaming and holding his lips."Ed, Al LET ME IN!"Ed unlocks the door and Ichigo runs inside and ducks for cover. After that he sits on a couch and looks at the coffee table.

"Why is there soggy cheerios on the table?"

"You dont ant to know." Then allof the sudden Rukia bursts in half naked with a bowl of cheerios on her head screaming:

"IM A LEEMER! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Rukia, what is wrong with you?"

"I FOUND SOME CRACK DOWNSTAIRS!" After that Rukia unlocks the door, and the boys scream:

"RUKIA NOOOO!" All of the fan girls rush inside and Ichigo, Ed, and Al run into the basement and lock the door.

"That was a close one!"

"We may be locked down here forever."

"Who cares, look!"

Icigo and Al look and see mountans of crack.

"HELL YEA!" After that they spent the rest of their life in the basement smoking crack.

THE END

or is it

dun dun dun da da

yep, its the end. for sure.yep.

o.O O.o o.O o.O O.o

Erick: So what do ya think? Well tell me, the review button is right there.

wolf: has succsessfully kidnapped Al Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Al: HELP! BROTHER WHERE ARE YOU?!

wolf: Ja ne to all, and to all a good night!


	3. DARK TATER!

WARNING: this story may be offensive to tater tots! If you are a tot, do not read this story.

ATTACK OF DARK TATER

Rukia: HEY, IM A TATER!!!!!!!

Ichigo: No your not! Hey, wait a minute, DID YOU GET IN MY CRACK AGAIN?!

Erick: shut up you two! I'm trying to write a story over here!

Wolf in the mist: (hugging Al) Huh, who what when, when, where, why?! Oh, can you get Ed down from there? (Points to corner where Ed is hanging above a pool of acid)

Erick: Ok we get! Can I start the story now!

All of the sudden Mamestubue Kowaso Mono swings down on a vine and grabs Ed of the rope making a noise like Tarzan.

Erick: THAT'S IT IM STARTING THE STORY!

* * *

It starts out with Ichigo running down the hallway trying to get to class on time.

"God damn it, I'm late for class! This is your fault Rukia!"

"How is my fault! You're the one who had to take that shit!"

"(Smiling) yea, it probably still smells in there! And it clogged every toilet in the school!"

"I can smell it from here!"

"I can't!"

We interrupt this story for a special news report! It seems every toilet in the country is clogged!

"Shut up you stupid news guy thing!"

"Yea, SHUT UP!"

Then the weirdest thing happened...

Rukia and Ichigo teleported into a giant…space tot!

They landed in a hallway in front of a door. They go through the door and then…

Dancing tater tots singing DARK TATER with the fairly odd parents theme.

Then a giant black tater entered the room. Ichigo screams TATER TOT and runs and starts nibbling on dark tater. Ichigo's stomach rumbles loudly.

"What the!???!! Get me a gas mask!!!" Dark tater says as Ichigo farts and shakes the whole space tater. Then dark tater takes off a kids' darth vader mask and it reveals the face of...

"TOM CRUSE! What are you doing here?!!?!?"

"WHO CARES! LETS FIGHT!"

All of the suddenly Rukia pulls out a light saber and starts fighting dark tater. They reach an end of a hallway with a hole in the floor.

"Before you die Rukia, I am your father!"

"No, your not!"

"I am your uncle!"

"No, your not!"

"I am your cousin twice removed!"

"I DON'T HAVE A COUSIN!!!!!!!!"

"You don't?"

"NO! MY PARENTS WERE ONLY CHILDREN!"

"OHHHHHHHHHHH! I get it!" Then at the last second Ichigo jumps on dark tater and starts eating him. Ichigo then takes an enormous bite and dark tater falls down the hole.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! Rukia, I love you!"

"EWWWWWWW!"

THE END

* * *

Wolf in the mist: does dark tater live? (still hugging a very scared looking Al)

Erick: no

Ichigo: that tater tot was good eat'n! Why did he have to die?!!?

Erick: you heard him! He said he loves Rukia!

Ichigo: But Rukia is my girlfriend!

Rukia smacks him on the back of the head

Rukia:IM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
